About Pastors…

Let me say a few things about Pastors (and Pastor appreciation/care)…

(1) I used to think Pastor Appreciation was for cheeseball Pastors. As a young Pastor and church planter I used to think Pastor Appreciation was a little hokey and un-necessary (kinda like Testamints that can ‘save’ your breath from Lifeway). In the early days I would inwardly prided myself how our church (comprised of many young and previously unchurched people) did not even know about things like Pastor Appreciation and how our church never had a line of people after the sermon to tell the Pastor he “hit a home-run” and speak in all other kinds of indiscernible Christian jargon. We were young, we were cool, and we were not cheesy like those other folks….. Needless to say, this perspective of mine wore off fast as church planting and local church ministry took its toll on my family.

Questions that betray big misunderstandings in my opinion (warning- you may mentally push back on some of these b/c there are always layers of nuance and context).

(3) Understanding the three-legged stool helps (from this book). The hard thing about Pastoral ministry is NOT: “I didn’t get the raise,” or “the boss has me working overtime,” or “I fear I’m next for a company layoff,” or “I gotta make my numbers this month,” or “there is conflict at the office.” Pastoral Ministry is a totally different animal. The hard thing about Pastoral ministry comes, not in those ways, but through spiritual fatigue, relational tension and abandonment, and feeling like a position or product more than a real person among people you count as friends. The best I’ve heard it explained is that most Christian people (non Pastors) sit on a three-legged stool in life. The legs of their stool are: professional life, spiritual life (church), and family life. When one of the legs goes bad and needs repair these people can lean on the other two legs for a while. We’ve all leaned back in our chair and it’s actually kinda awesome sometimes right? Pastors and their families sit on a one-legged stool. Their professional, spiritual, and family lives are all entangled and enmeshed into one stool leg. It takes an intense amount of concentration and energy to stay balanced on one leg. When something does go wrong in any area of life, it impacts all spheres of life. (i.e. if your wife moves out you don’t have to resign from a bank job, but you will be forced to take an unpaid break from being a Pastor… or …. everyone a Pastor is friends with in his church is in a delicate dual relationship of “friend-to-friend” and “pastor-to-member” so when a friend/member leaves the church they almost always leave both aspects of that relationship… and often somewhat poorly).

*** Hear this! Many folks have tough jobs (Stay at home moms have extremely hard jobs as do teachers in urban public schools). All work is hard (see Genesis 3). Good Pastors don’t want attention and sympathy for their ego, rather good Pastors want to operate in a culture where they can thrive so they can get on with their passion of lifting up and encouraging their people toward joy and progress in the faith in the midst of their own tough jobs. We should bear one another’s burdens and honor one another well. Romans 12:10- “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Pastoral Ministry is not the only hard job in the world and may not be the hardest, but it is uniquely challenging and that is why appreciation and encouragement and prayer is needed. (That may have been the most crucial sentence in this whole post).

 

(4) Who should champion Pastor Appreciation? As a church planter, you are creating the culture, norms, and practices at your church and this makes it extremely awkward to introduce a culture of Pastor Appreciation at your church. It feels like throwing yourself a surprise birthday party. It also feels like going against your calling because the reason you went into ministry was to disciple people and lift THEM up… not to sit back and be appreciated. Over time I came to see that it was just as important for our church members to be spurred on to encourage their leaders as it was for the leaders to receive the encouragement. I came to see this as an overall church health issue and discipleship issue. I had to get over the weird feeling of it and decided to appoint a leader, designate a budget, and get Pastor Appreciation rolling. Though I don’t have any plans on leaving our church it has helped me to imagine (hypothetically) that I was setting things up for the next Pastor who would inherit an appreciative church culture where Pastoral ministry can thrive.

(5) I really feel appreciated at our church!!! I just want to say this as my last thing. We do Pastor Appreciation in October at Fellowship Raleigh with every other church. We have a trusted leader in place and a budget set. Our people are very encouraging and kind and we (myself included) have come a long way from the early days, for which I am so so thankful. I love our church. VERY IMPORTANTLY, we also have budgeted (from our church budget) for me to be part of a Pastors Cohort with a ministry called “Leaders Collective”. This is a group of Lead Pastors from around the county who meet quarterly to focus on encouraging one another as friends to be healthy Pastors leading healthy churches. John, John, Kris, Miguel, Matt, & Elliot are in my cohort and are great friends and Pastors. There is great and intentional stuff for our wives too. Fellowship Raleigh financially enables me to be part of this cohort!!! Thank you!

With point 5 (above) in mind I hope you can see that I am not writing this post from a place of appreciation deficit or with any spirit of complaining, but rather I am writing from a place of having been on a journey and having learned a few things about how it really goes down in the local church. Peace.